When It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year… But Maybe Not for You

The holidays are often described as joyful, magical, and full of celebration, but for many people this season can feel heavy. Even in the best of circumstances, the holidays bring extra stress and pressure. When you’re navigating grief, depression, or major life changes, this time of year can feel especially overwhelming.

It’s completely normal if you aren’t feeling merry and bright right now.

The holidays can stir up memories of loved ones who have died, traditions you once shared, or moments that now feel bittersweet. Grief that you believed had softened may feel sharp again when certain songs, scents, or rituals bring those memories back. If the person you’re missing especially loved the holidays, the season can feel like a spotlight on their absence.

Depression can also make this time harder. When everything around you is sparkling and busy, it can amplify loneliness, exhaustion, or the sense that you “should” feel differently. Many people worry about burdening others and pull away, which can unintentionally increase isolation and worsen low mood.

And then there’s the pressure to attend every event, keep up every tradition, buy the perfect gifts, create picture-perfect moments. When your emotional energy is already stretched thin, these expectations can feel impossible.

Listening to Your Emotions

If you’re feeling sad, anxious, numb, or overwhelmed, your emotions aren’t wrong or out of place, rather they’re information. Try to check in with yourself with curiosity rather than judgment.

Ask yourself:

• What am I needing right now?

• What emotion is showing up?

• How can I care for this part of me?

Responding gently to your own emotional experience, not pushing it away, can make the season more manageable.

Coping with Holiday Depression or Grief

Here are some supportive ways to navigate this time of year:

• Give yourself permission to do less.
You don’t owe anyone a perfect holiday. If you need to cancel plans, skip an event, or choose quiet over celebration, that’s okay.

• Set realistic expectations.
Your energy may be different this year. Let your holidays adjust to fit you, not the other way around.

• Reach out instead of withdrawing.
Share how you’re feeling with someone safe, a friend, family member, support group, or mental health professional. You are not a burden.

• Create space for grief.
Talk about your loved one, look through photos, or honor them in small ways. It’s okay to feel both joy and sadness.

• Revisit traditions only if they feel comforting.
Some people find meaning in continuing loved traditions; others need something new this year. There’s no “right” choice.

• Protect your time and energy.
Say no when you need to. Rest when you can. Allow moments of calm without guilt.

• Practice small acts of self-care.
A slower morning, a walk, journaling, lighting a candle, or simply taking a breath can help ground you.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re struggling this holiday season, please give yourself grace. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve support. Whether this year feels tender, heavy, or simply different, it’s okay to honor your emotional reality. The people who care about you will still care, even if your holiday looks different this time.

You’re allowed to show up exactly as you are.

💙Marie Smith, PMHNP

If you are experiencing a medical or psychiatric emergency, or need immediate support, please do not wait for a response.
Instead, contact emergency services:

• Call 911 for immediate assistance

• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)