“My Heart is Broken”: The Pain We Struggle to Share

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Mental pain often hides in plain sight. It is just as real as physical pain, but because there is no outward sign, like a visible would, we may have trouble talking about it.  Silence only adds to the weight of depression. When we keep our pain to ourselves, we may feel isolated—as if we are the only ones carrying this burden. In trying to “solve” our mental pain alone, we often deepen the struggle.

Depression can be especially insidious. It doesn’t always arrive suddenly, but rather creeps in quietly—draining the color from life, dulling motivation, and making even daily responsibilities feel overwhelming. Over time, life can start to feel darker, colder, and lonelier. Depression whispers, “This is how things will always be.” It slows our thinking, clouds our perspective, and convinces us that change isn’t possible.

For many, so much energy goes into putting on a good face at work, at school, or in public that, by the time we’re home, there’s nothing left for the people and activities we love. Depression insists, “No one wants to hear about this. Nothing can be done.”

But that is not the truth.

If you are struggling with depression, please reach out. Sharing how you feel—with a trusted friend, a family member, or a therapist—can help lift the burden. Just as turning on a light chases away shadows, speaking your pain aloud can begin to soften depression’s grip.

Even if there’s no visible wound, mental pain is real. Your feelings are valid. And just as you would seek care for a toothache or broken bone, you deserve care and compassion for your emotional pain.

💙Marie Smith, PMHNP

If you are experiencing a medical or psychiatric emergency, or need immediate support, please do not wait for a response.
Instead, contact emergency services:

• Call 911 for immediate assistance

• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)