Rage Gardening
Life has hit hard these last few months.
People I care about have been going through really difficult times, and I recently experienced the unexpected loss of a friend. It feels like everything has hit all at once, leaving me with big, confusing emotions and no clear outlet.
Sometimes, life throws emotional punches that don’t come with solutions—only the painful process of moving through them. Strangely, I almost find it easier when something hard happens to me. It’s when loved ones are suffering that I feel most helpless—and that helplessness often turns into frustration, irritability, even anger.
There are times when I don’t feel up to talking about it, and worse—when the irritability builds up, I find myself lashing out at the people I love. Sadly, sometimes that’s exactly what happens.
But the other day, I stumbled into something surprisingly healing: rage gardening.
I had the time and space to channel all that frustration into a neglected flower bed. Ripping out dead plants and weeds was sweaty, dirty, and unexpectedly satisfying. I got a workout, gave my agitation something to focus on, and—by the end—felt calmer and proud of the work I’d done.
This is what healthy coping can look like.
Coping mechanisms are how we handle big, overwhelming emotions. Some are helpful—they help us process, release, or move through our feelings. Others are unhealthy—like yelling, doomscrolling, or isolating—that may offer short-term relief but usually leave us feeling worse in the end.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. It’s normal to struggle with emotion. What matters is how we cope.
If you’re going through it right now, know you’re not alone.
Reaching out—whether to a trusted friend or a neutral, supportive professional—can help you find new ways to navigate the pain, and even discover some unexpectedly healing outlets along the way.
💙Marie Smith, PMHNP
If you are experiencing a medical or psychiatric emergency, or need immediate support, please do not wait for a response.
Instead, contact emergency services:
Call 911 for immediate assistance
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
