Underface

Shel Silverstein: Underface

Underneath my outside face

There’s a face that none can see.

A little less smiley,

A little less sure,

But a whole lot more like me.

We all have an “underface.”

Sometimes it's where we carry our sadness, our worries, or our self-doubt. Other times, it’s where we hide the silly or vulnerable parts of ourselves we fear won’t be accepted.

It’s completely normal to have a public face and a private one. In fact, there are many situations in life where we need to separate how we really feel from how we respond.

But it becomes problematic when the “underface” grows heavy with the weight of depression.
It can start to feel like you're holding a smiling mask over your real face—keeping everything hidden just to function. Depression isolates. It convinces us no one will understand, that our pain is too much, or that asking for help would only burden others.

Sometimes, holding that mask in place feels like the only way to keep going.
To take it off would mean risking the flood of emotion beneath—along with the energy it might take to contain it again.

Depression is insidious.
It often creeps in slowly, changing us in small ways over time. One day, we wake up feeling like a shadow of ourselves, wondering how did I get here?
Other times, depression comes on like a wave of darkness, making us believe the light won’t return—that this feeling is our new normal.

A diagnosis of depression is made when someone experiences persistent sadness or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities, along with symptoms like:

• changes in appetite

• sleeping too much or too little

• fatigue

• feelings of worthlessness or guilt

• difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• hopelessness

• slowed thinking or movement

• recurrent thoughts of death or suicide—with or without a plan

Reaching out for help can feel incredibly hard.
On top of the emotional pain, asking for help might feel like weakness or failure. Depression tells us we should be able to manage it on our own.

But you don’t have to carry it alone.
If you feel like you're struggling with depression, reach out. Let's talk about the "underface" we all wear. Healing begins when we stop hiding.

💙Marie Smith, PMHNP

If you are experiencing a medical or psychiatric emergency, or need immediate support, please do not wait for a response.
Instead, contact emergency services:

• Call 911 for immediate assistance

• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)